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Preacher Arrested for Drowning His Side Chick During Baptizing Ceremony

“She was trying to f**k up a good thing. I was getting double the p***y for 32 years, then she decided to catch feelings”

A Florida preacher was arrested for attempting to drown his sidechick while baptizing her during a Sunday ceremony where bystanders realized things were going wrong after 5 minutes past, and the pastor hadn’t brought her up for air.

“Once her weave started getting soggy we knew she had been under wayy too long” – Church Member

Pastor Ronnie Marchenen will face attempted murder charges and has already started passing around a collection plate to take care of his half a million dollar bail.

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