Mr. America Returns To WWE

After a 12-year absence, patriotic muscleman Mr. America has made a surprise return to World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE), vowing to “fight for the rights of every man.”

Wearing his signature stars-and-stripes mask — wispy blonde hair draping his neck and a fu manchu moustache flanking his chin — the leather-skinned wrestler burst onto the scene at a WWE event last night in Topeka.

Despite being similar to Hulk Hogan in appearance and demeanor, Mr. America denies any connection to the former WWE star.

Mr. America’s return seems to conspicuously coincide with the abrupt, unexplained departure from WWE of Hulk Hogan, who shares a similar physique, mannerisms, and speech patterns.

Mr. America denies, however, any allegations that he is connected to Hogan: “Well let me tell you something, brother,” he said, “Mr. America is going to run wild all over the WWE, totally unrelated to anyone named Hogan.”

Mr. America is scheduled to appear as a guest judge this week on Tough Enough.


Written by Pablo Reyes Jr

"Believe half of what you see and nothing you read online." - Pablo Reyes