Man Kills Girlfriend in Her Sleep Because Her Eyebrows Gave Him Nightmares

“Them shits look like the Batman signal and that hoe ain’t no super hero”

Said a Louisiana man who was arrested for murder late Monday night.

Kenneth Swanson was arrested for murder after neighbors called the police once they heard a loud gunshot at their apartment home. Police arrived and found Kenneth’s girlfriend dead where he admitted to shooting her, because her eyebrows repeatedly gave him nightmares.

“I kept telling her to change them shits. I tried to cut them in her sleep, but she woke up …so I killed her.” – Kenneth

Kenneth is facing first degree murder charges, but is a hero to the local community who says them eyebrows scared the shit out of all of them too.

Huzlers is a fauxtire and fictional news blog that focuses on celebrities, hip hop and urban entertainment.