Man Beats Little Brother After He Found Him Masturbating During “No Nut November”

ALBUQUERQUE – Sergio Lopez, 21, has been arrested after he allegedly “beat the sh*t” out of his little brother after he walked in on him masturbating. According to officials, Sergio claimed that it was “no nut november” and that he couldn’t let his little brother fail on the first day of the month.

“I did him a favor”, claims Sergio, “It’s tradition for us to go the entire month of November without nutting, we do it every year”. Sergio is referring to “no nut november”, which is apparently a popular internet joke trend that encourages people to not ejaculate during the entire month of November.

Officials found Sergio’s little brother badly beat up with his penis still hard. “It’s barely the first day” says Albuquerque police officer Jaime Diaz, “it’s sad that he couldn’t last a day”.

Since the beating, Sergio has been bailed out of jail by his family for the set $1000.

Huzlers is a fauxtire and fictional news blog that focuses on celebrities, hip hop and urban entertainment.

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