Government Issues Ban On All Future Jordan Shoe Releases Due To Riots And Robberies

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WASHINGTON D.C. – It is being reported that government officials have banned all future Jordan brand shoe releases due to the frequent riots, murders, and robberies that are carried out on release dates.

Air Jordan shoes have always been popular because of the man behind the brand—Michael Jordan himself. Certain shoes are scheduled to release on certain days and almost always sell out on the very release day. Even with hundreds of thousands of Jordan shoes produced for that particular release, they sell out and generate millions of dollars in just one day. However, Jordan shoe releases often create chaos, as hundreds of customers are allowed to wait outside shoe stores for hours. Riots, robberies, and even murders are reported after many releases. “We cannot have this” says New York senator Kirsten Gillibrand, “Are the shoes really worth all the chaos that is caused because of the releases? With alll due respect for Michael Jordan and Jordan brand, the shoes are all nice, but when people are being frequently robbed and killed, we have to think to ourselves, should the releases be stopped?” concludes Senator Gillibrand. And that’s exactly what happened, Earlier today, president Barack Obama approved the bill that would ban all Jordan future releases.

Michael Jordan himself even commented on the ban of his sneakers saying “I can’t believe this, first the NBA bans my shoes in 1985 and now the government bans my shoe releases in the U.S.? The senator who introduced the bill must have been from Utah… he had to be.” With multiple Jordan shoes releasing every month, many shoe pairs have already been produced and ready to be shipped out to individual shoe retailers across the country like Finish Line and Foot Locker. Since the shoes cannot be sold to the public anymore, Jordan Brand will donate all the sneaker pairs to Africa. That being said, if you were really anticipating the release of Jordans like the Retro 10 “Lady Liberty” in February, or the Retro 7 “Hare” in May, we strongly recommend moving to Africa and acquiring the sneakers for free. Visit for daily news.


Written by Pablo Reyes Jr

"Believe half of what you see and nothing you read online." - Pablo Reyes


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