Fiji Bottled Water Reportedly Not From Fiji; Actually From Gulf Of Mexico

 LOS ANGELES – Fiji Bottled water has been a favorite for years now. People seem to be infatuated by that fact that the water they’re consuming comes from the far, enchanted islands of Fiji… or does it?

New reports by the Food and Drug Administration reveal that Fiji bottled water is actually not from the beautiful island of Fiji. Well, technically it is, but only 2%. It is simply a marketing technique. Although only 2% of the water actually comes from Fiji, It is completely legal for Fiji Water to market it’s product in such a way, however, The FDA is now making it mandatory for Fiji water to mention that only 2% of the water actually comes from Fiji. So, if only 2% of the water comes from Fiji, where does the other 98% come from? It comes from the Gulf of Mexico.

“I drank that sh*t everyday”, says Darnell Flowers, an ex-Fiji water consumer, “That sh*t was so good, I even felt powerful after drinking that. And then they told me that sh*t was from the Gulf of Mexico. I said hell nah, you know what? That sh*t wasn’t actually that good now that I think about it”, finished Darnell.

Even 5 years after the BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, where thousands of gallons of petroleum were spilled into the gulf, splotches of oil can still be found on the seafloor. That being said, you may as well be drinking oil—just kidding, it’s not serious. The water has been filtered and purified many times to be safe for human consumption.

Pretty disappointing to think that we were basically being lied to all along. We guess water from the Gulf of Mexico isn’t that bad, eh? Will you continue to buy and drink Fiji bottled water? The choice is yours.

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Written by Pablo Reyes Jr

"Believe half of what you see and nothing you read online." - Pablo Reyes


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