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Dumb Teens Steal What They Think Is Cocaine You Won’t Believe What They Snorted!

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Here’s a fun one. A trio of teenagers rummaged through a Missouri home when they discovered through Facebook postings that its owner, Debora Matthews, was out of town. They came away with nearly $3,000 in cash and valuables and, they thought, a fancy box filled with cocaine.

That wasn’t quite the case:

A trio of teenage burglars (…) thought they got away with a stash of cocaine they found in a wooden box, only to later discover that the powder was actually the cremated remains of the homeowner’s father, police report.

How did 17-year-old Devin Gesell (pictured above) and his two underage accomplices come to realize the “cocaine” was actually “a dead man’s ashes?” Trial and (very unfortunate) error, apparently:

She says the three thought the ashes stored in a container was cocaine, but after they tasted it, they realized what they had really stolen. However, instead of bring it back, they scattered the ashes all over the highway as they fled.

So, they snorted a dead man’s ashes (gross) before unceremoniously dumping them in the road (awful). But then, it gets worse:

She also says she believes the minors are two of her father’s grandchildren.

“I’m very upset because of the minors. I mean [they] were his grandsons,” Matthews said. “They did that to their grandfather. They didn’t even realize it was their grandfather’s ashes.”

Go ahead and throw a hefty punishment at these kids. They deserve it. But nothing the law can do to a minor will ever make them feel worse than the knowledge that they snorted their own grandfather’s ashes.

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