ELMHURST, IL – Police arrived with guns drawn this past Wednesday when a suspicious black toddler was found napping in the lobby at the Caterpillar Daycare Center. In yet another instance of a black person terrorizing a predominantly white atmosphere with their sole existence, it has become clear that no one is safe from these monsters. Daycare employee Debra (Deb) Greenway, age 43, reported the issue.
“Well first of all, he just didn’t look like he belonged at Caterpillar. His clothes were messy, and he was napping right in the middle of the lobby! He was even drooling a bit, too – probably from drugs.”
The culprit’s family released a statement that the 4-year old, Jason, had been attending the daycare for months. We spoke with his mother.
“His clothes were messy because of the finger painting they did that day. He was sleeping because it was nap time. I don’t understand how anyone could’ve perceived him as a threat.”
Police have disregarded the family’s statements, reporting that the kid appeared “spaced out” when woken up and wasn’t able to answer basic questions. He will face trial for trespassing, public intoxication, and failure to cooperate with law enforcement. In the meantime, the Caterpillar Daycare Center has increased its security measures to avoid any future instances like this one.
“We were all just a little scared today,” said Deb. “I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to one of these poor kids.”